It ain't November. Not yet.

I baked a turkey this morning. Yeah, I did.

Amy, is 2000 degrees outside.

Yeah, I know. I baked a turkey.

Why...why did you bake a turkey in August?

My dad and I were talking about turkey...I said I hated deli turkey, he agreed. Then I saw one at the store. So, I baked a turkey. And now I can have turkey salad, turkey gravy, turkey pie, turkey casserole...

And my dad can have turkey. And turkey noodles, and turkey biscuits, and turkey dumplings.

All I did to this turkey was take it out of the package.

I didn't season it.

I didn't stuff it.

I didn't rub it.

I just baked it.

And it took me half the day...4 hours to be exact.

While it was baking, I had plenty of time to think:

1. Emoticons. Never use them. Don't understand their purpose. I got an email from an irate customer once that said, "YES!!!!! :)" I decided the smiley thing was to take the edge of the screaming. My cousin Stacia uses one that actually LOOKS like her: ;^) ...or something like that. It takes me waaaay too long to find the right keys.

2. School Supplies. Dude, we need them. I gotta get on that. And the eye doctor. And the physicals. And the shots. And the crisp new jeans.

3. Nachos. I could make 10 gagillion different kinds of nachos. And eat the whole pan every time.

4. Wii...actually how disturbing it is that I can laugh really hard at the term WiiMote.

There's 4 things I thought about in 4 hours. I didn't spend a full hour on the Wii, but I probably spent more than an hour on nachos. It all evens itself out in the end, right?

Ready to see my turkey? He's a big guy...

16lbs.

Ina Garten was INSISTENT that I put this foil tent over the top. So I did. And it sagged and stuck to the turkey. He lost some skin. Thanks, Ina. I know it's not your fault, but I'm blaming you anyways.

What are those? DD?

This is my favorite thing ever:

"Stick a fork in me, I'm done"

Naw, man. What I really wanted you to see was the juices running out...

See? You don't have to add a lot of stuff to a turkey to make it great, you can just throw it in the oven. No need to stress, man. It's just a big ol' bird!

And even though it's 2000 degrees outside, a nice turkey club with fresh tomatoes from the garden sounds pretty awesome, doesn't it?